Heart Trees

So this is my first blog post ever. I am here because I am leaving tomorrow (today actually, it's past midnight) to begin a 3 month backpacking trek around Europe, and I would like to share my experiences with you along the way. I plan to keep this blog both open and honest; this is my one-time disclaimer to everyone that I do not plan to hold anything back here, so....brace yourself :-)


I would like to begin by sharing something I experienced that completely reality-checked my brain. That reality check is part of what has inspired my decision to travel this summer, and I pass the story on to you in hopes that hearing it will move you the way the experience moved me. So anyway, here we go...


About a year and a half ago, I was driving down Dekalb Ave. in Atlanta on my way to Little 5 Points from Decatur (for those of you that know the area). Dekalb Ave. is a road that will take you all the way into the city. On one side of the street is the Marta. On the other side, you'll find residential side streets and the occasional strip of hipster shops and eateries every few blocks. Dekalb Ave. is one of my two favorite roads in Atlanta -- the other is Ponce de Leon in case you were wondering. Both have saved my ass on numerous occasions, being the only two roads that I can get to anywhere from, if I can just find them.


So on this particular day driving down Dekalb Ave., I happened to notice a small grove of about 50 trees in a corner lot on one of the residential streets. I don't know how long it had been there or why I had never noticed it before, but on this day, the trees caught my eye for a very specific reason. Each tree in this lot had a black X painted on its trunk, about 5 feet up from the base. Now, sadly, I think I speak for all of us when I say we see this sort of thing all the time these days...and that corner lot was the perfect size for a house to be built, so I'm sure the city had (has) big plans for that lot...but there was something else. And that something else, was hearts. Big, red, hearts. Painted over each and every X, on every. single. tree.  The fact that someone was so appalled by the thought of 50 trees being cut down, that they took the time to paint a heart on top of each X had rendered me completely speechless. It was an act of silent protest that was quite possibly one of the single most tragically beautiful gestures I have ever witnessed. I really cannot find the words to describe how beautiful this haunting site was. For whatever reason, that lot called out to me. It was like I could feel the emotion of the person who painted the hearts, I could hear the trees begging to be spared, I could see the blatant demonstration of desperation. And all of it was just BEAUTIFUL to me. I don't know, I really don't think I can articulate how much this grove of heart trees just moved my soul and how these trees wrapped their branches around my very core.


Whoever did this is my hero. I was so moved by this person's wonderfully profound statement. To me, it was a work of art. I wanted to frame the sight as a reminder that there are still people out there who are passionate about, well...anything, in a world that I often feel is rapidly losing it's ability to feel. We are so numbed by what is "expected" of us - heaven forbid we ever set foot outside of that little box! But, let's not get me started on all that. Unfortunately, I was in a hurry to get my errands done that day, so I was unable to capture the sight. I promised myself to keep my camera in my bag so that I could stop and take a picture the next time I drove by, and everytime I came down Dekalb Ave. from that point forward, I looked for that lot.


For the next year, I probably drove by my lot of heart trees at least once every two weeks, if not more frequently. And I had my camera with me at all times. If I was with someone in the car, I would point it out to them. Each time I drove by, I would think about stopping, but at the last minute would find a reason not to. I had somewhere to be. The sun wasn't bright enough. It was cold. It was too hot. I had to get home. It was too dark. I needed gas for the car. I was on the phone. I was running late. I had someone with me who wouldn't want to stop (I must point out here that anytime I passed the lot with a companion in the car, I never once asked them if they minded me taking the detour). I was nervous someone would see me taking the picture and I'd be in some sort of trouble (This is how my mind works, I'm terribly insecure -- I deal with it, so you should too). There was too much traffic. It was raining. I just didn't have time today. Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah. Again, I did this for over a year -- driving by, and every time thinking about how amazing and beautiful the lot was to me, but "I'll just get a picture next time I come by."


I never got that picture.


About two months ago, Patrick and I were riding down Dekalb Ave.; Although this was a route we both frequent, it had been a short while since I had actually come down that way. I was asking Patrick if he had ever seen the heart trees. He hadn't noticed them. I started telling him about the lot as we were approaching the side street and pointed as we crested the small hill, only to find that the lot was empty. My heart trees had been cut down. Nothing was left but a cluster of stumps and several decent sized logs pushed off to one edge of the lot. I cannot even describe how I felt in that moment. "Crushed" does not even cut it. My eyes welled up. I started rambling about my trees in utter disbelief that they were actually gone. I am pretty sure that if Pat didn't already question my sanity, he was doing so now. I don't know...I guess in some naive crevice of my mind I thought the hearts would have spared the trees...that the hearts would have moved the lumberjacks and the city as much as they had me. I was just so sad...and wildly disappointed. Sad that the trees were cut down, and disappointed in myself that in over a year, I could not take 30 seconds out of my day to pull my car over and take a damn picture of something I found beautiful. Like, really, how effing sad is that!?


Now, all of this may not seem like that big of a deal to you...in fact, it even seems a little silly to me when I think about the fact that I had a meltdown over these dang trees. But I think the moral of this story is painstakingly clear. We have to start taking the time to acknowledge things that are important to us when we have the chance. We have to start doing things that make us happy, instead of putting them off until a "better" time. Tell the people you love how much they truly mean to you. Take that picture. Go on that vacation. I was discussing my upcoming trip with a friend about 3 weeks ago who told me the story of a gentleman he worked with who had recently retired. The retiree had worked most of his life, not taking much time for anything else...because of his succes he was able to retire in his 50s and planned an extented trip overseas to do some much earned traveling. About a month ago, he was diagnosed with a terminal brain cancer and was given only months to live. He spent his whole life working and planning for the trip of a lifetime that he will never get to take. You just never know when you'll wake up one day and that moment to experience something you've always wanted will be gone. Annoyingly cliche, I know, but missing my opportunity to take that picture of something I found so moving and beautiful really taught me how true that is...even for a grove of heart trees.

Before I left Atlanta, I took a drive down Dekalb Ave., for the sole purpose of taking a couple pictures of what is now my [empty] heart tree lot, as a reminder to myself to always take the time to appreciate and enjoy what is important to me in my life. I am sharing these photos with you, in hopes that you will remember the same. By the time I actually took the photos, Spring had sprung and grass had covered most of the stumps, so it is not as dry, cracked and desolate as it looked when the trees were first cut down, but you still get the picture. I will probably never find heart trees anywhere else, but my hope is that I will see and experience so much more because of them, and what they represented to me.

And so I leave you here, to board my plane to Europe. To step outside my comfort zone, take the road less traveled, and get back to feeling like myself and find what truly makes me happy...and OWN THAT. The time is now, and I intend to embrace it. No more compromising my desires and needs. And I need this. I need to prove to myself that I can be true to myself and be proud of that truth. I need that for me. 

Peace, Love, & Blessings to you all...until next time!
~AnnieBoo 




*I will never post a blog without a quote & a song that relates to whatever I'm rambling about ;-)


"Spend the afternoon. You can't take it with you." --Annie Dillard

*Song of the Moment: "White Daisies Passing" by Rocky Votolato